I'll admit this but I have a profile on an online dating site. No, I haven't actually used it for its purposes and no I don't pay anything for it but it's still extremely embarrassing to admit even to myself that it is semi-serious. I try and weed guys out with my sense of humor and I guess it works but I get a lot of stupid replies and messages and it's all hopeless and frustrating.
Honestly I don't even know what I want in terms of a relationship at the moment.
As I was scrolling through my 'matches' I thought about this guy's mom and how proud she must be that her son is on this site for mainly "casual sex" .. Another didn't even have a picture of his face but rather of his mediocre penis. Exciting.
Ive gotten hit on and asked out so many times lately it's probably at the least once a day but it really does nothing for my self esteem. I miss my exboyfriend and the fact that I've recently made out with one of them only made me feel worse. I don't want another relationship I just want to write about my feelings I guess.
A lot of people don't know this about me but I've been diagnosed as bipolar and it hasn't affected me Until recently. I should probably get medication for it and I've stopped since but idk I'm probably ok without it.
My advice to myself would be to lay off guys for a long time. I'll just sell my virginity on craigslist and then use that relevancy to boost myself up to being some sort of alt stand up comedienne like Demetri Martin a little, but funnier and with less drawing.
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